First attempt at HDR photography

HDR stands for High Dynamic Range.

Tonight while I was cooking dinner, I noticed a pretty dramatic looking sky. So I whipped out the tripod and my Canon EOS 450D, stepped outside our house onto our shared driveway, set the Automatic Exposure Bracketing (AEB) to -+2. Setting AEB enables it to quickly take three shots with a different exposure setting in quick succession.

Using the built in automated Merge to HDR script in Photoshop CS3 to bring the images together. Saved as a 32bit Tiff.
Opened in Photomatix Pro 3.1 and tone mapped.

Click on the images below to see the three original images and the resulting HDR image at the bottom.

I’m hooked! – Look out for future HDR images as I sink my teeth into popular Rotorua landmarks.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

It was a sunny Saturday morning on the course and he was beginning his pre-shot routine, visualizing his upcoming shot, when a voice came over the clubhouse loudspeaker:

“Would the gentleman on the woman’s tee please back up to the men’s tee!!”

Our man was still deep in his routine, seemingly impervious to the interruption. Again the announcement:

“Would the MAN on the WOMEN’S tee kindly back up to the men’s tee.”

Our golfer simply ignored the guy and kept concentrating, when once more the man yelled:

“Would the man on the woman’s tee back up to the men’s tee, PLEASE!”

Finally our focused golfer stopped. He turned, looked through the clubhouse window directly at the person with the mike and shouted back, “Would the person in the club- house kindly shut up and let me play my second stroke?”

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“I have to talk to my girlfriend every day on the phone. My husband says, ‘Why do you have to talk to her again today? You just talked to her yesterday. What could you possibly have to tell her?’ ‘Well, for one thing, I have to tell her you just said that.’” –Rita Rudner

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It must be difficult to keep coming up with jokes that nobody has heard before. I have an original quip. My fourteen year daughter asked me 34 years ago, if I had heard about the Irish dictionary…..”It has an index.” Maybe not hilarious, but, at the time, original.

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I recently picked a new doctor. After a couple visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing ‘fairly well’ for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn’t resist asking him, “Do you think I’ll live to be 80?”

He asked, “Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer or wine?”

“Oh, no,” I replied. “I’m not doing drugs, either!”

Then he asked, “Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?”

I said, “No, my last doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!”

“Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?”

“No, I don’t,” I said.

He asked, “Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of Sex?”

“No,” I said.

He looked at me and said, “Then why do you even care?”

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town one hot dusty day. After tying up the horses the Lone Ranger told Tonto to run around Silver, flapping his poncho to keep Silver cool while he went into the saloon for a drink.

A little while later a cowboy came in to the bar. “That your horse out there?” he enquired of the Lone Ranger. On being told it was, he continued, “Thought I’d better tell you – you left your injun runnin’ “.

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A Texas farmer went to Australia for a vacation. There he met an Aussie farmer and they started talking. The Aussie showed off his big wheat field and the Texan said, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”

They walked around the ranch a little and the Aussie showed off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately said, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation had almost died when the Texan saw a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asked, “And what are those?”

The Aussie asked with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”

love it…love it…

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A new supermarket opened in Tampa, Florida. It has an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you pass the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and you experience the scent of fresh mown hay. In the meat department there is the aroma of charcoal grilled steaks with onions.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle, and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying…. The bread department features the tantalizing smell of fresh baked bread and cookies.

I don’t buy toilet paper there any more.

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A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother: “Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?”

“That’s your father.”

“Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?”

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When I was a kid I said I wanted to be a comedian when I grew up. Everyone just laughed at me!

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After a day full of accidents and mistakes, my coworker had had it. “Why,” she cried out in exasperation, “do things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?!”

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It was many years ago since the embarrassing day when a young woman, with a baby in her arms, entered his butcher shop and confronted him with the news that the baby was his and asked what was he going to do about it?

Finally he offered to provide her with free meat until the boy was 16.

She agreed.

He had been counting the years off on his calendar, and one day the teenager who had been collecting the meat each week, came into the shop and said, “I’ll be 16 tomorrow.”

“I know,” said the butcher with a smile, “I’ve been counting too, tell your mother, when you take this parcel of meat home, that it is the last free meat she’ll get, and watch the expression on her face.”

When the boy arrived home he told his mother.

The woman nodded and said, “Son, go back to the butcher and tell him I have also had free bread, free milk, and free groceries for the last 16 years and watch the expression on HIS face!”

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How to Turn Down Unwanted Men

HE: Can I buy you a drink?
SHE: Actually I’d rather have the money.

HE: Hi. Didn’t we go out once or twice?
SHE: Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry. I’m having a headache this weekend.

HE: Your face must turn a few heads.
SHE: And your face must turn a few stomachs.

HE: I think I could make you very happy.
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?

HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can’t talk and laugh at the same time.

HE: Where have you been all my life?
HE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven’t I seen you some place before?
SHE: Yes. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I’m a female impersonator.

Little Johnny Jokes

Little Johnny’s at it again….. A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, ‘Everyone who thinks they’re stupid, stand up!’ After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, ‘Do you think you’re stupid, Little Johnny?’ ‘No, ma’am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!’

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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. ‘Why do you do that, mummy?’ he asked. ‘To make myself beautiful,’ said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. ‘What’s the matter?’ asked Little Johnny. ‘Giving up?’

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The maths teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, ‘Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?’ Little Johnny quickly replied, ‘NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!’

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Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. ‘Yes,’ said the policeman. ‘The detectives want very badly to capture him.’Little Johnny asked, ‘Why didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?’

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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse’s legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, ‘Dad, why are you doing that?’ His father replied, ‘Because when I’m buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, ‘Dad, I think the Telstra guy wants to buy Mum.’

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

I became confused when I heard these terms with reference to the word ‘service’.

• Internal Revenue ‘Service’
• Postal ‘Service’
• Telephone ‘Service’
• Cable ‘Service’
• Civil ‘Service’
• Customer ‘Service’
• State, City & County Public ‘Service’

This is not what I thought ‘service’ meant. But today, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them said he had hired a bull to ‘service’ a few cows. BAM!!! It all came into focus. Now I understand what all those ‘service’ agencies are doing to us. I hope you are as enlightened as I am.

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When I was based in Japan in 1953, a couple of my mates and I were showing a new arrival around Iwakuni. He was an RAAF signaller who was a Japanese linguist. One of the US Navy wives from the base was walking toward us. She was very attractive and was what we called in those days, “a sweater girl”. ie. she was “stacked. She was wearing a tight white sleeveless sweater with two Japanese characters on the left front. After we had passed her, the signaller burst out laughing. He said the writing on her sweater, in colloquial Japanese, spelled “Left Tit”. I wonder if anyone ever told her.

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Real story

It was my birthday and a little girl in my class brought in a present for me. “So did you pick this lovely gift or did Mummy?” I asked her. “Nobody,” she replied proudly. “Mummy said it was just some old thing lying around the house that she was given for Christmas and that I could give it to you!”

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I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary? ” It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation. “Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said. So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?” And that’s when the fight started….

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The Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding across the plains one day, when Tonto suddenly cocked his ear at a passing falcoln’s cry. “Kemosabe… Apache to East!” he whispered.

The Lone Ranger looked to his faithful companion. “What do we do?”

Tonto pondered a moment. “We ride West!”

After riding a short while, Tonto again paused, searching the horizon with his eagle-sharp eyes. “Kemosabe… Apache to West!”

The Masked Man looked once again at his friend. “What should we do?”

Tonto scratched his head in thought. “We ride North!”

After a brief ride, Tonto stopped to scent the breeze. “Kemosabe… Apache to North!”

“What do we do now?” his companion asked.

Without hesitation, Tonto replied, “We ride South!”

Within minutes, Tonto reigned in his horse and dropped to the ground. Placing his ear to the earth, he listened intently. “Kemosabe… Apache to South!”

Worried, the Lone One asked him, “NOW what do we do?”

Tonto thought hard for a moment, his eyes squinting in concentration. Then his face lit up. “What do you mean “WE”, White Man?”

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Each evening a bird lover, Tom, stood in his backyard, hooting like an owl. One night an owl called back to him. For a year, Tom and his feathered friend hooted back and forth. He even kept a log of the “conversation.”

Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter-species communication, his wife had a chat with her neighbor. “My husband spends his nights calling out to owls,” she said. “That’s odd,” the neighbor replied, “so does mine.”

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I was nervous the night my husband and I brought our three young sons to An upscale restaurant for the first time. My husband ordered a bottle Of wine with the meal. When the waitress brought it, our children Became quiet as she began the ritual uncorking.

She poured a small amount for me to taste, and then our six- year-old piped up, “Mom usually Drinks a lot more than that!”

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A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password.

“The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says.

“Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk tech- nician explains, “so if someone were standing behind you, they wouldn’t be able to read your password.”

“Yeah,” she says, “but they show up even when there is no one standing behind me.”

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Q. What did the Zero say to the Eight?
A. “Nice belt!”

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“And there was a big rally on Wall Street yesterday after Citigroup reported a profit for the first two months of the year. That just goes to show you what determination, hard work, and 45 billion of our bailout dollars can do.” –Jay Leno

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“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don’t say it.” -Sam Levenson

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“I’m sick of following my dreams. I’m just going to ask them where they’re going and hook up with them later.” -Mitch Hedberg

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“Scientists in Japan have developed an umbrella that has Internet access and allows users to search the Internet while they walk. An electronic device that you carry in a rain storm. What could possibly go wrong?” -Conan O’Brien

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A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife.”Please describe,” said his attorney, “the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife’s infidelity.”

“Well, I’m pretty much on the road all week,” the man testified. “So naturally when I am home, I’m attentive to the wife.” One Sunday morning,” he continued, “we were in the midst of some pretty heavy lovemaking when the old lady in the apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, ‘Can’t you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?’”

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A man is seeking to join the Victorian Police force – The Sergeant doing the interview says: “Your qualifications all look good, but there is an attitude suitability test that you must take before you can be accepted.”

Then, sliding a pistol across the desk, he says: “Take this pistol and go out and shoot six illegal immigrants, six drug dealers, six Muslim extremists, and a rabbit.”

“Why the rabbit?”

“Great attitude,” says the Sergeant. “When can you start?”

Twouble with Twitters

Thought this was pretty funny, great first scene – ‘just got to work’… more exciting than some tweets I’ve seen.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN2HAroA12w