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Tiger Woods Jokes

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Viewed 1396 times in Humour since Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 Tags: funny, Jokes & Humour, one-liners, Tiger-Woods
Dec 03

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.

Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?

This is the first time Tiger’s ever failed to drive 300 yards

Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he’s ever had. So Gillette has dropped his contract.

After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree

Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife

Tiger is changing his name to “Cheetah”

Tiger is the first golfer to hit a water hazard and then a tree in the same drive!

Tiger just got kicked off the Ryder Cub team. …. He keeps getting beat by a European

Might have been worse Tiger, you could have lost your putter!

What was the points on the citation given to tiger by the Florida State Police?
Tree-under

That’s what happens when you put your driver in someone elses bag.

What course gives tiger the most trouble?
Intercourse

I hear that their relationship is in the rough!

If only Tiger had hit a mailbox and stop sign as well, he could have completed the Grand Slam!

I heard Tiger’s wife is now being sponsored by a golf club manufacturer.
The tag line: Get the club that beats Tiger!

When asked by the police how many times she hit Tiger, Elin replied “I’m not sure, put me down for a 5″

What do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common?
Both were clubbed by a Norwegian.

Why was Tiger in such a hurry at 2:30?
He was late getting to the next hole.

“Tiger was found exactly two club lengths from his car due to a lost ball penalty – if the cops would have arrived a minute later he’d have lost the other one as well”.

Tough year for tiger. 2nd time he has been beaten by a nine iron

Nike wants to drop their endorsement, apparently Tigers balls go everywhere.

What’s the difference between Tiger’s Escalade and his pitching wedge?
He can hit his wedge over water hazards and trees.

New Nike “TW” hat……..$25
New Nike Golf Shoes……$125
New Cadillac Escalade….$60,000
New Nike Iron, wrapped around your head, By jealous wife..
……PRICELESS ! !

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Adrian Hodge

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    Welcome to the personal website of Adrian Hodge. I'm a web designer/developer living in Rotorua, New Zealand. Married with two lovely kids, I have a love of motorcycles and gadgets. I work for Destination Rotorua Tourism Marketing during the day and run Hodgeman Web & Design after hours.

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