The Fabulous Friday Funnies

I love Ebay…Sold my homing pigeon eight times this month !!


I love CHRISTMAS LIGHTS,
they remind me of some co-workers.
They all hang together,
half of them don’t work,
and the ones that do aren’t that bright.


Local Police hunting the ‘knitting needle nutter’ who has stabbed six people in the buttocks in the last 48 hours, believe the attacker could be following some kind of pattern.


Just got back from my mate’s funeral. He died after being hit on the head with a tennis ball. It was a lovely service.


19 paddies go to the cinema, the ticket lady asks "Why so many of you?" Mick replies, "The film said 18 or over."


You know that you are in your second childhood when you have to return with your bottle of pills and ask the pharmacist to remove the childproof cap.
Happened to me so many times I asked him to note in his computer, "Don’t use childproof cap".


CHRISTMAS PARTY

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 21st October 2011

RE: Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 21st, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…please feel free to sing along.
And don’t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

————————————————————————–

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 24th October 2011

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.
We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party’. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Pauline.

————————————————————————–

FROM; Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 25th October 2011

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table…you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $20.00 is too much money and Management believe $20.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

————————————————————————–

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 26th October 2011

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, L*sbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’ desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!

Pauline.

————————————————————————–

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All F**ing Employees

DATE: 27th October 2011

RE: The F….. Holiday Party.

Vegetarians… I’ve had it with you people !!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death’, as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your f,,,,,, salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feelings too, They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing the scream right NOW !!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.

The Witch from HELL!!!

————————————————————————–

FROM: John Benson.( Acting Human Resources Director )

TO: All Employees

DATE: 28th October 2011

RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

John Benson.


While my wife and I were shopping at a mall, a shapely young woman in a short, form-fitting dress strolled by. My eyes involuntarily followed her.

Without looking up from the item she was examining, my wife asked, "Was that worth the trouble you’re in?"


I was shopping with my roommate, and I saw a humorous button that said, "It might look like I’m doing nothing, but on a cellular level, I’m quite busy."

I showed it to her, and her response was, "Oh, I should buy that one, I’m always talking on mine."


Q: Why did the casino’s black-jack person go see a shrink?
A: He couldn’t deal with it any more.

Q: Why did the magazine editor go see a shrink?
A: He had some issues.

Q: How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A: A Buccaneer!

Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
A: He saw the salad dressing!

Q: Why don’t astronauts relate well to other people?
A: They’re not always down-to-earth.

Q: What kind of bird can write?
A: A PENguin.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Patricia’s sister was in hospital this week and was looking for some Christmas cheer in the sick room. She asked her hubby to track down the classic movie “Miracle on 34th Street” on DVD.

Sometime later he returned with what he thought she had asked for… “Nightmare on Elm Street”’ When challenged he said he knew it had “street” in the title… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said, ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’" Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

It was the day after Christmas. The lawyer had gone out for the day, so the burglar, noticing this, broke into his house and stole all his Christmas gifts.

He was almost out of the house when a police officer pulled up to the house and promptly apprehended the man.

"You can’t arrest me!" the man exclaimed. Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Helping me sort clothes into "save" and "give away" piles, my six-year-old daughter came across a garter belt. "What’s this?" she asked.

"It’s a garter belt," I said. Seeing that meant nothing to her, I added, "It’s for holding up stockings."

"Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the "save" pile, "we’ll use it next Christmas Eve."

Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

This proves that commonsense is not very common. My dad was booked to go on a trip and as a precaution he took out travel insurance unfortunately he died suddenly but when we activated the travel insurance we had to prove he was too sick to go on the trip, I gave them the death certificate but they replied ‘This doesn’t prove he was sick only that he has died.’ So it begs the question how sick do you have to be before dying? Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

10 reasons we know Santa is a man

  1. No dress sense.
  2. Never replies to your letters.
  3. The chances of getting for are nil.
  4. Beer belly.
  5. Will only commit one day a year.
  6. Obsessed with stockings.
  7. Never stops to ask for directions.
  8. Too lazy to shave.
  9. He always wears the same clothes.
  10. Only willing to do a job where people leave food and booze out for him… and he doesn’t wash the plate up after him.

One of our beloved residents in our aged care facility was sitting in the activities room and a staff member asked her where she would like to go to (being wheelchair bound) – ‘heaven please’ was the response with a smile.


True story

At a recent family function, my uncle sat down to join the group in the lounge room. With all the chairs taken and people already sitting on the floor, my uncle sat against the TV cabinet. As he leant on it, he said "Ow, there’s a knob digging into my back", referring to the door knob on the cabinet. I replied with, "Now you know why women don’t considered that as fore play."


Out of office auto-responses

"I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood."

"You are receiving this automatic notification, because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all."

"Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team."

"I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received."

"Hi, I’m thinking about what you’ve just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response."

"I’ve run away to join a different circus."


One evening, in a busy lounge in the deep south, a reindeer walked in the door, bellied up to the bar and ordered a martini. Without batting an eye, the bartender mixed and poured the drink, set it in front of the reindeer, and accepted the twenty-dollar bill from the reindeer’s hoof.

Snowman As he handed the reindeer some coins in change, he said, "You know, I think you’re the first reindeer I’ve ever seen in here."

The reindeer looked hard at the hoofful of change and said, "Hmmmpf. Let me tell you something, buddy. At these prices, I’m the last reindeer you’ll see in here."


"There’s a new product called ‘Texthook’ that lets parents strap phones to strollers so they can text while pushing their children. The most common text message is, ‘OMG, just crashed my baby into another baby!’" -Jimmy Fallon


My aunt’s young family with two boys ages 3 and 4, had attended church one spring morning.

As they left the church the pastor said, "Well, look at you boys, all bright eyed & bushy tailed!"

Joe the older boy loudly announced, "We don’t got tails; we’ve got Dinkys!"

My aunt was mortified.


An oldie but a goodie

A husband and wife go to a counsellor after 15 years of marriage. The counsellor asks them what the problem is and the wife goes into a tirade, listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they’ve been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counsellor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman, and kisses her passionately. The woman shuts up and sits quietly in a daze.

The counsellor turns to the husband and says "That is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?"

The husband says, "I can bring her in on Monday and Wednesday, but on Friday I’m fishing."


As a potential juror in an assault-and-battery case, I was sitting in a courtroom, answering questions from both sides. The assistant district attorney asked such questions
as: Had I ever been mugged? Did I know the victim or the defendant?

The defense attorney took a different approach, however. "I see you are a teacher," he said. "What do you teach?"

"English and theater," I responded.

"I guess I better watch my grammar," the defense attorney quipped.

"No," I shot back. "You better watch your acting."

When the laughter in the courtroom died down, I was excused from the case.


"Over the weekend Paris Hilton was arrested for driving under the influence. She’s still a celebrity and you can tell she’s spoiled. For example in the holding room she got one call and she called room service." –Jay Leno


Rules are the means of a girl’s assessing which man she likes well enough to break them for.


"Mommy, Mommy!" said a little boy after coming from playing. "I just saw a man making a horse!"

"Are you sure?" asked his mother.

"Yes," he replied. "He had a horse nearly finished. When I saw him, he was just nailing on his feet."


A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer." = 16.


A blonde decided to redecorate her bedroom. She wasn’t sure how many rolls of wallpaper she would need, but she knew that her friend blonde friend from next door had recently done the same job and the two rooms were identical in size.

"Buffy," she said, "how many rolls of wallpaper did you buy for your bedroom?"

"Ten," said Buffy.

So the blonde bought the ten rolls of paper and did the job, but she had 2 rolls leftover.

"Buffy," she said. "I bought ten rolls of wallpaper for the bedroom, but I’ve got 2 leftover!"

"Yes," said Buffy. "So did I."


The last word on Tiger

"Sources say Tiger has confessed all of his affairs to his wife who has agreed to stay with him if he takes some time off from golf. Tiger said, ‘That’s OK — golf was starting to cut into my time with the ladies.’" -Conan O’Brien

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

An elderly gentleman…. had serious hearing problems for a number of years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%

The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor said, ‘Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you can hear again.’

The gentleman replied, ‘Oh, I haven’t told my family yet..
I just sit around and listen to the conversations. I’ve changed my will three times!’


Maybe Tiger should change his name to Cheetah?


My infant son and I sat in front of the TV, hostages to my husband’s channel-surfing. He eventually settled on an R-rated movie in which the actress was soon topless.
"Honey, change the channel," I said, shielding my son’s eyes. "He shouldn’t see this."

"It’s okay," my husband replied. "He probably thinks it’s the Food Network."


This happened to me last week. On playground duty I noticed two Year 5 boys who seemed to be fighting or wrestling so I made my way over to them. I noticed that the first of the boys was one with a reputation for losing his cool and lashing out.

Just as I got within range to call out to them, they gave each other a hug. Still not 100% sure if everything was “kosher” I called them over with a light hearted “Come over here cuddly boys”. When they came over I asked them “Now boys, why do you think I called you over here?” The second boy piped up “For acting gay?”

With much difficulty I managed to not laugh and gave them a brief talk about saving the wrestling for outside of school. I quickly sent them on their way so I could burst out with laughter.


I wondered if I could get my husband to address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do. I arranged everything we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let’s get these out of the way."

He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.

"They’re last year’s," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let’s go out to dinner and relax. You’ve been working too hard."


The symphony musicians had little confidence in the person brought in to be their new conductor. Their fears were realized at the very first rehearsal. The cymbalist, realizing that the conductor did not know what he was doing, angrily clashed his instruments together during a delicate, soft passage. The music stopped. The conductor, highly agitated, looked angrily around the orchestra, demanding, "Who did that? Who did that?"


Sixteen reasons why airplanes are easier to live with than women

  1. Airplanes usually kill you quickly – a woman takes her time.
  2. Airplanes can be turned on by the flip of a switch.
  3. Airplanes don’t get mad if you do a "touch and go."
  4. Airplanes don’t object to a pre-flight inspection.
  5. Airplanes come with manuals to explain their operation.
  6. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limitations.
  7. Airplanes can be flown any time of the month.
  8. Airplanes don’t come with in-laws.
  9. Airplanes don’t care about how many other airplanes you’ve flown before.
  10. Airplanes and pilots both arrive at the same time.
  11. Airplanes don’t mind if you look at other airplanes.
  12. Airplanes don’t mind if you buy airplane magazines.
  13. Airplanes expect to be tied down.
  14. Airplanes don’t comment on your piloting skills.
  15. Airplanes don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
  16. However, when airplanes go quiet, just like women, it’s usually not good

"Golden Globe nominations are out today. Third year in a row, Pamela Anderson was nominated for ‘Best Golden Globes.’" -David Letterman


When it comes to wine I’m very particular about what I buy.
There are two things I look for before making my selection.

First, the word "Wine" must appear somewhere on the label.
This is something I insist on.

Second, I look for a sign nearby that says "On Sale."

Follow these two rules and you won’t go far wrong.


A man and his wife are watching a pay-per-view boxing match on TV. After a first round knock-out the husband sighs and says, "What a rip off! It was all over in three minutes!"

The wife replies, "Now you know how I feel."


"Oh, look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer. Who’d have ever guessed that product
con- sumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously?" -Calvin & Hobbes


I went to my friend’s house recently and noticed that his Christmas tree was bare except for a shotgun shell near the top.

I asked, "What’s the deal, no decorations?"

Puzzled, he looked at me and said, "What do you mean? It’s a cartridge in a bare tree."


"A good listener is usually thinking about something else." — Kin Hubbard


My sources are unreliable, but their information is fascinating. — Ashleigh Brilliant


Ever wondered?

  1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?
  2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?
  3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
  4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?
  5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
  6. Why do "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
  7. Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
  8. Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
  9. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
  10. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"Crouching Tiger, hidden hydrant"

What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

What does Tiger Woods have in common with baby seals? They both get clubbed by Norwegians.

That’s the first time Tiger Woods has failed to drive 300 yards

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree…he couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron. Perhaps Tiger should have used a driver

I find it’s a nightmare driving at 2.05am: sometimes you can’t see the Woods for the trees.

Tiger’s wife went for him over a birdie.

Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.

What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.


I was asked to participate in a video for work, so I brought in a couple of outfits and played thespian for a day. At the end of the shoot, the receptionist eyed me suspiciously as I walked around in outfit number two. "Have you changed clothes?" she asked. "Or did I forget to go home?"


A snail was slithering along the street one day when he was attacked by two turtles. Later, the cops asked, "Did you get a good look at the turtles who did this to you?"

"No, it all happened so fast."


The game show contest ant was only 200 points behind the leader and was about to answer the final question — worth 500 points!

"To be today’s champion," the show’s smiling host intoned, "name two of Santa’s reindeer."

The contestant, a man in his early thirties, gave a sigh of relief, gratified that he had drawn such an easy question.
"Rudolph!" he said confidently, "and … Olive!"

The studio audience started to applaud (which the little sign above their heads said to do), but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling. The confused host replied, "Yes, we’ll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain ‘Olive’?"

"You know," the man circled his hand forward impatiently and began to sing,

"Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glows. *Olive,* the other reindeer…


Dear Grim Reaper,

So far this year you have taken away my favourite dancer Michael Jackson, my favourite actor Patrick Swayze, my favourite singer Stephen Gately and my favourite actress Farah Fawcett.

Just so you know, my favourite politician is Kevin Rudd.


"This is little strange. A couple in England named their new daughter Kia because she was delivered in the back seat of a Kia. No one was happier than her older brother — Hospital Bed." -Jimmy Fallon


"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the altar," the Preacher says.

Leroy gets in line, and when it’s his turn, the preacher
asks: "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you."

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Leroy’s ear, and he places the other hand on top of Leroy’s head and prays and prays and prays, and prays for Leroy.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,"Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don’t know, Reverend, it ain’t til next Wednesday!"


One for golfers

One fine day, Jim and Bob are out golfing. Jim slices his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabs his 8-iron and proceeds down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball.

The brush is quite thick, but Jim searches diligently and suddenly he spots something shiny. As he gets closer, he realises that the shiny object is in fact an 8-iron in the hands of a skeleton lying near an old golf ball.

Jim calls out to his golfing partner in excitement, "Hey Bob, come here, I got trouble down here."

Bob comes running over to the edge of the ravine and calls out, "What’s the matter Jim?"

Jim shouts back in a nervous voice, "Throw me my 7-iron!
You can’t get out of here with an 8-iron."


I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and think, "Well, that’s not going to happen."


According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes. And women say the first thing they notice about men is they’re a bunch of liars.


CHRISTMAS PARTY

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 21st October 2009
RE: Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…please feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.
Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $20.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

——————————————-

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 22nd October 2009
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party’. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.
There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung.
We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Pauline.

——————————————-

FROM; Pauline, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 23rd October 2009
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table…you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody? Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $20.00 is too much money and Management believe $20.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

——————————————-

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 24th October 2009
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’
beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, L*sbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’
desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!

Pauline.

——————————————-

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director
TO: All Fuckng Employees
DATE: 25th October 2009
RE: The Fucking Holiday Party.

Vegetarians… I’ve had it with you people !!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death’, as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your fucking salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feelings too, They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing the scream right NOW !! I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.

The Witch from HELL!!!

——————————————-

FROM: John Benson.( Acting Human Resources Director )
TO: All Employees
DATE: 26th October 2009
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

John Benson.