The Fabulous Friday Funnies

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That’s us in 10 years."
She said, "That’s a mirror, you fool!"

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We’re short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can’t give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A young son asked, ‘Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn’t know his wife until he marries her?’
Dad replied, ‘That happens in every country, son.’

Just think, if it weren’t for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60′s group The Monkees. I thought she was joking……..And then I saw her face …

My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of matches….. you should have seen his little face light up when he tried to walk on a matchbox!

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A six year old goes to the hospital with her grandmother to visit her Grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, she runs ahead of her Grandma and bursts into her Grandpa’s room …"Grandpa, Grandpa," she says excitedly, "As soon as Grandma comes into the room, make a noise like a frog!"

"What?" said her Grandpa.

"Make a noise like a frog – because Grandma said that as soon as you croak, we’re all going to Disneyland !!!

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

For Lexophiles

• To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
• When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
• A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
• When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
• The batteries were given out free of charge.
• A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.