Ohope Camping Holiday 2012

In the last weekend of January before Joshua started school, we borrowed a friends ute and all his camping gear and took the family on our first ever camping trip.

Considering we hadn’t spent a single night in a tent together, Kim and I were a bit apprehensive about the whole thing, but thought since a lot of our friends with kids were camping, it seemed like the ‘in thing’ to do. Not wanting to let the Jones get one up on us we packed our friends gear and headed on our way!

We did our research on camping grounds/holiday parks (buy AR15 accessories for camping) and were initially shocked at the cost per night for our family. Around $70 per night (2 adults & 2 children) for a piece of unpowered land! But looking around various holiday parks in the Bay of Plenty, we quickly came to the realisation that this was a rational charge during the high season, which we unfortunately were going to be falling into.

We decided on the Ohope Beach TOP 10 Holiday Park which came highly recommended to us by friends who had spent time there recently.

The facilities were a major draw card for us; an outdoor pool with two slides and a kiddies pool, a childrens playground and even mini golf! While the mini golf course was a little tired and needing a freshen up, it was a great holiday park and we will certainly be returning there one day once we have our own camping gear.

I took plenty of photos and videos on my iPhone and put together this short holiday video using the iMovie app on my iPad so we can relive our first family camping trip for many years to come.

Baby 2.0

This time tomorrow, we’ll have another child.

Kim is going into hospital tomorrow morning for an elective cesarean (c-section) operation in the afternoon.

I’m not sure who’s more nervous, last time I nearly passed out. But with the help of our Midwife Midhusband Graham, I’m hoping to stand up and watch the baby being removed from my wife’s stomach.

Just thinking about it makes me queasy.

I hope to keep you all informed via this blog, twitter and facebook, so which ever medium you follow me on, be sure to wish Kim and I all the best and we’ll hopefully have something to show you all really soon.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A father found his small son looking very unhappy.

"What’s wrong?" he asked.

The boy said, "I can’t get along with your wife."

One day, a New Zealander on holiday in London walked into a curio shop. Looking around, he notices a life-sized bronze sculpture of a cat in a dark corner. The sculpture is so intriguing, he decides he must buy it and asks the shopkeeper the price.

"Twelve pounds for the cat, sir," the shopkeeper tells him, "and £100 for the story that goes with it."

"I’ll take the cat," says the tourist, "but you can keep the story."

The transaction completed, the tourist leaves the store with the bronze cat under his arm. As he crosses the street in front of the store, two live cats emerge from an alley and fall into step behind him. Nervously looking over his shoulder, he begins to walk faster, but every time he passes another alley, more cats come out and follow him.

By the time he’s walked two blocks, at least a hundred cats are at his heels, and people begin to point and shout. He walks even faster, and soon breaks into a trot as multitudes of cats swarm from alleys, basements, vacant lots, and abandoned cars. Thousands of cats are now at his heels, and as he sees the waterfront at the bottom of the hill, he panics and starts to run full tilt.

No matter how fast he runs, the cats keep up, hissing insanely, now not just thousands, but millions, so that by the time he comes rushing up to the water’s edge a trail of cats several blocks long is behind him. Making a mighty leap, he jumps onto a light post, grasping it with one arm while he hurls the bronze cat into the Thames River.

Clinging to the light post, he watches in amazement as the seething tide of cats surges over the banks into the river, where they drown. Amazed and almost dumbstruck, he makes his way back to the curio shop.

"Ah, so you’ve come back for the story," says the shopkeeper.

"No," says the tourist, "I was wondering if you have a bronze Australian."

You are suffering from what is technically known as an Electra Complex," the psychiatrist is informing his blonde female patient. "In other words, you are in love with your father."

The blonde breaks down into hysterical sobbing.

"Now, now," comforts the shrink. "It’s not all that bad."

"Yes..(snif)…yes, it is," the blonde gets out between sobs. "I have no chance at all…he’s a married man!"

After a torrential rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddles through her kitchen window.

The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his brother by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole. As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.

‘Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!’ she asks as she shook the older boy in anger.

‘We were just playing ‘church’ mummy,’ he said. ‘And I was just baptizing him … … in the name of the Father, the Son and in … the hole-he-goes.’

An Israeli doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man, put it in another, and have him looking for work in six weeks.’

A German doctor says ‘That is nothing; we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another, and have him looking for work in four weeks.

The Russian doctor says ‘In my country, medicine is so advanced that we can take half a heart out of one person, put it in another, and have them both looking for work in two weeks.’

An Australian doctor, not to be outdone, says ‘You guys are way behind, we recently took a man with no brains out of Queensland, put him in Canberra , and soon about half the country will be looking for work.’

I reckon airports should have a room allocated to atheists so they can go there and not pray.

No One Could Ever Dream Up A Story Like This One.. As a young piper in Newfoundland, I was asked by a funeral director to play at a grave-side service for a homeless man, with no family or friends.

The funeral was to be held at a cemetery way back in the country, and this man would be the first to be laid to rest there. As I was not familiar with the backwoods area, I became lost; and being a typical man did not stop for directions. I finally arrived an hour late. I saw the backhoe and the crew, who were eating lunch,but the hearse was nowhere in sight.

I apologized to the workers for my tardiness, and stepped to the side of the open grave, where I saw the vault lid already in place. I assured the workers I would not hold them up for long, but this was the proper thing to do. The workers gathered around, still eating their lunch. I played out my heart and soul.

As I played the workers began to weep. I played, and I played, like I’d never played before: From My Home & The Lord is my Shepherd to Flowers of the Forest.I closed the lengthy session with amazing Grace and walked to my car.

As I was opening the door and taking off my coat, I overheard one of the workers saying to another, ‘Lard Jeezuz b’y, I never seen nothin’ like that before and I’ve been putting in septic tanks for twenty years.’

A lady went to the doctor and said ‘my husband thinks he’s a refrigerator’.

The doctor said "don’t worry he’ll get over it".

She said, " It’s not that", she said, "when he’s asleep with his mouth open, the little light in there keeps me awake!"

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked Up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, ‘I Would like to buy some cyanide.’

The pharmacist asked, ‘Why in the world do you need cyanide?’ The lady replied, ‘I need it to poison my husband.’

The pharmacist’s eyes got big and he exclaimed, ‘Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband.

That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things Will happen.
Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!’

The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife.

The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, ‘Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.’

As a special treat, my partner took our 2 kids to see the stage show of Wicked. It was a late night for our 6 & 10 year old girls… I collected them in the car and on the way home, our very tired 6 year old was trying to remember which day she had to do "Show & Tell" so that she could report on Wicked….. "I cannot remember which day it is but it has ‘Day’ in it’s name….."

What followed was an annoyed 10 year old trying to explain that all days have days in their names…

She looked like such a sweet little old lady, driving the cute Toyota with a bumper sticker that said, "Grow your own dope."

How sweet, I thought, must be a medical marijuana patient.

Then I noticed the rest of her message… "Plant a man."

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you’re grown up, a credit card does it." –Sam Ewing

A man said to his wife one day, ‘I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time. ‘The wife responded, ‘Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S’cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done, "what was that all about?" "Nothin’, said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"

Thoughts on marriage…

  • Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming 1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
  • The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once….
  • The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once….

A woman married for the fourth time at eighty, to an Undertaker Local Radio asked for an interview, to which she agreed "Who was your first husband?" the interviewer asked "He was a Banker", she replied "What about your second husband?" the question came "That’s easy, he was a Circus Performer"

"Did you travel around?" "Oh yes, for 15 years", she said "And your third husband?" "He was a Minister of God" she replied

"And now you are married to an Undertaker, why such diversity?" "Well, I married One for the money, Two for the Show, Three to get ready, and Four to go !"

This happened to me on the weekend, and I thought the other vertically challenged out there might appreciate it.

My family was discussing how I am shorter than some other women (5 foot 3), and my 7 year old daughter added: "Don’t worry Mum, there are some people in the world shorter than you….. like me…… and dwarfs."

Having grown up just outside New York City, I barely knew a cow from an ear of corn. Until, that is, I married a small- town Ohio girl. While I was in seminary school, I had a temporary assignment at a church in a rural community. The day of my first sermon, I tried very hard to fit in. Maybe too hard.

With my wife sitting in the first pew, I began my
discourse: "I never saw a cow until I met my wife."

Help me to always give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday.

An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe’ with a full-grown emu behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders. The truckie says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke,’
and turns to the emu, ‘What’s yours?’ ‘I’ll have the same,’
says the emu. A short time later the waitress returns with the order ‘That’ll be $9.40 please,’ and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, ‘A hamburger, chips and a coke.’ The emu says, ‘I’ll have the same.’ Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. ‘The usual?’ asks the waitress. ‘No, it’s Friday night, so I’ll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,’ says the man.
‘Same,’ says the emu. Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, ‘That will be $32.62.’ Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer.
‘Excuse me, mate, how do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?’ ‘Well, love’
says the truckie, ‘a few years ago; I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.’ ‘That’s brilliant!’ says the waitress. ‘Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you’ll always be as rich as you want for as long as you live!’
‘That’s right. Whether it’s a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there,’ says the man. The waitress asks, ‘What’s with the emu?’

The truckie sighs, pauses, and answers, ‘My second wish was for a tall chick with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say.’

Little Tony was 9 years old and was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her,’Grandma, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same room and one is on top of the other?’

She was a little taken aback, but she decided to tell him the truth. ‘It’s called sexual intercourse, darling.’

Little Tony said, ‘Oh, OK,’ and went back outside to play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, ‘Grandma, it isn’t called sexual intercourse.

It’s called Bunk Beds! And Jimmy’s mum wants to talk to you.’

The American Medical Association researchers have made a remarkable discovery. It seems that some patients needing blood transfusions may benefit from receiving chicken blood rather than human blood.

It tends to make the men cocky and the women lay better.

A little bit of humour emerged from the recent bushfires in Victoria.

A fish farmer at Boolara reported to authorities that he had lost 650 gold fish during the fires. How? Elvis, the skycrane helicopter had dropped into one of the fish farms ponds for water and sucked them up. The load was dumped to douse the flames near a house. The smoked fish didnt last long as the local wood ducks flew in to clean them up. The story is true and was verified with the fish farm owner by the local abc reporter Mark Debono – Sale.

I’d had enough of my employees’ abusing their allotted break time. In an effort to clarify my position, I posted a sign on the bulletin board: "Starting immediately, your 15-minute breaks are being cut from a half-hour to 20 minutes."

  • I went to the doctor ’cause I swallowed a harmonica…. he said "lucky you don’t play the piano"
  • My wife went to the doctor and told him she thought she was invisible…. he said "I can’t see you ’til next week"
  • I went to the doctor and told him I thought I was shrinking…. he said "can’t you just be a little patient"
  • I told the doctor my wife thinks she’s Daisy Duck…. he said "she’s suffering from Disney Spells"

Update 25th May ’07

Well, on behalf of my family, i just want to thank Alan, Alex and the team here at TUMONZ,
both present and past, for all the great times we’ve shared over the past five years and to
wish them all the best for their endevours in the future.
Check out me filling the staff swimming pool before a Christmas function one year.

Big shout out to both Luke Linnell and Tim Rattray who are both celebrating their birthdays,
turning thirty something (38&37) on Monday the 28th.
Congratulations boys, hope you have a fantastic weekend and your families spoil you rotten.

Joshua is now 7 months old and is weighing in at a healthy 7.8 kgs, he has 6 teeth currently
with another 4 almost coming through. He is a happy go lucky baby who we’ve been blessed with.
Never having to use a pacifier, which we are really happy about. Its been harder for us without any
close family support but I’m extremely proud of the way Kim has handled everything, especially
without the support of a mother (whom past away). Kim is a fantastic mother and I know her mom
would be proud of her.

Kim is also becoming quite the photographer, she has been responsible for most of the new
photos of Joshua you see on AdrianHodge.com. Speaking of which, there are 3 new photos of Joshua this week, one of which you can open full-size and print if you wish.

I’d like to thank everyone who replied to me last week with good wishes and thoughts,
I appreciate everything you wrote. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to get the funnies to you
next week, but they will come through, rest assured.

May you all have a terrific weekend, eat, drink (and don’t drive) and be merry.
Enjoy this weeks funnies

Update 18th May ’07

Big news from Rotovegas

Well, my time at TUMONZ is drawing to a close…
For those of you who do not know already, I’ve been offered a job working for the Rotorua District Council in the Tourism department as their Web Development Coordinator.
Should be a drastic shock to the system after happily working for TUMONZ for nearly 5 years.
I’ll be concentrating on web design & development, which I’ve been developing after hours and will be able to further my skills in online and email marketing.
So it’s my last week in the office here at TUMONZ next week, and I start at the council on the 28th, the following Monday.

So, what will you be doing there you ask?
Here is a little extract taken from my job description manual.

Position Purpose

  • To effectively administer, maintain and develop Destination Rotorua’s Tourism Marketing external websites.
  • To co-ordinate, support and train internal and external content providers, maintain quality control of content, monitor statistics, promote and develop DRTM’s presence via the web.
  • To explore and develop web-based marketing and revenue opportunities to fullest potential.
  • To develop, administer and maintain DRTM’s internal client management databases.

So Kim and I are very excited about this, but at the same time are sad about leaving TUMONZ, as we have been a part of that happy family team for so long.
Kim and I want to wish TUMONZ all the best for the many years ahead.

In other news,

Joshua is now 6 months, 3 weeks old and has 6 teeth!
Check out the latest 3 photos of Joshua here
He is an awesome little man, we can’t go on and on about it enough.

A big shout out Happy Birthday to the big fella Reg Hawthorne today, he’s celebrating his 33rd birthday today, no doubt there will be Tui flowing freely around at the Hawthorne residence tonight. Hope you have a great day today brother and can explain why we didn’t get an invitation…?

Also a big Happy 24th Birthday to Kate Betteridge on Sunday, our little niece has grown up so fast, and is now married and living in Pinehaven in their own house. Well done Kate, and have a great day on Sunday.

Well, hope that fills your tanks of Hodge gossip for another week.
Enjoy this weeks funnies here

Have a great weekend everyone and we’ll see you all next week for the final funnies from TUMONZ!
Over and out


Welcome to Adrian Hodge.com

Wellity Wellity Wellity

Welcome to my new website designed to keep everyone informed with what me and the family are up to.
I hope to write in this online blog at least weekly, similar to my update with the friday funnies each Friday.

Please enjoy your visit and if theres anything you want to hear about, watch, or listen to, don’t hesitate to ask.