The Fabulous Friday Funnies

I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend, "That’s us in 10 years."
She said, "That’s a mirror, you fool!"

Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. "Boss," he says, "we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff."

"We’re short-handed, Smith," the boss replies. "I can’t give you the day off."

"Thanks, boss," says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Our son Adam is 43 today. When he was five we got the dreaded question ," Where did I come from ? " back then I really wanted to tell him to wait till his Dad came home.
However the experts of the time advised explaining it all in that age group lanuage truthfully.
So I went off on " The Talk " wishing I had found him under a cabbage.

I left nothing out. when I sighed relief and thought I had done a pretty good job , Adam said " No Mum, where did I come from Sydney or Canberra ?"

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A frog walks into his local bank branch, asks for the loans officer. He goes in, sits on her desk, and sees shes called Patricia Whack. He asks her for a $50,000 loan to do a world cruise. She asks what security he has and he produces a 4 cm pink porcelain elephant and says his dad is Mick Jagger. She asks the manager for advice – he says

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Helping me sort clothes into "save" and "give away" piles, my six-year-old daughter came across a garter belt. "What’s this?" she asked.

"It’s a garter belt," I said. Seeing that meant nothing to her, I added, "It’s for holding up stockings."

"Ah," she said, carefully placing it in the "save" pile, "we’ll use it next Christmas Eve."

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Wife asks husband, "How many women have you slept with?"
Husband proudly replies,

"Only you, Darling – With all the others, I was awake."

"According to the ‘Wall Street Journal’, researchers at Harvard have found an enzyme in the brain that regulates obesity. They said if it wasn’t for our brains, we would all be thin. That’s why supermodels are so skinny." –Jay Leno