A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour.
Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!"
"Sorry," he replied, "it’s not my table."
"Miami was voted the worst road rage city. You have 20-year- olds doing 95, and 95-year-olds doing 20, that’s why."
-Craig Ferguson
The first time I met my wife, she was an intense aerobics instructor at my health club and I was an out-of-shape new member. After one grueling workout, I gasped, "This is really helping me get toned." She looked me up and down. Feeling self-conscious, I added, "Big men run in my family."
A young woman was taking an afternoon nap. After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamt that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine’s Day. What do you think it means?"
"You shall know tonight", he said.
That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it. She found a book entitled
Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a truck went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, ‘I’m gonna do that when I win lottery’ ‘What’s dat’, says his mate.
‘Send me lawn away to be cut’
"Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography." -Robert Byrne
"According to the National Institute of Health, as people age, their brains respond less strongly to rewards. They say older people become less excited when they win some- thing. Whoever did this study has never seen a bingo game." -Jay Leno
I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don’t know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses.
Welcome to the personal website of Adrian Hodge. I'm a web designer/developer living in Rotorua, New Zealand. Married with two lovely kids, I have a love of motorcycles and gadgets. I work for Destination Rotorua Tourism Marketing during the day and run Hodgeman Web & Design after hours.
