A frog walks into his local bank branch, asks for the loans officer. He goes in, sits on her desk, and sees shes called Patricia Whack. He asks her for a $50,000 loan to do a world cruise. She asks what security he has and he produces a 4 cm pink porcelain elephant and says his dad is Mick Jagger. She asks the manager for advice – he says
A middle-aged man asked the Trainer in the gym:
"IF I wanted to impress that beautiful girl, which machine should I use?"
The Trainer smiling replies:
" The ATM machine outside the gym…"
"Give a man a fish and you feed him for the day.
Teach him to use the Net and he won’t bother you for weeks."
I was driving around and around a packed parking garage in search of an available space. Nothing. Then I noticed a couple walking ahead of me.
"Going out?" I called to them hopefully.
"No," said the man. "Just friends."
A waitress became violently ill while at work and was rushed by ambulance to the emergency room. In typical hospital fashion, she was placed on an examining table and then all but ignored for the next half-hour.
Finally, she noticed a doctor out in the hall and yelled, "Please help me!"
"Sorry," he replied, "it’s not my table."
Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a truck went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, ‘I’m gonna do that when I win lottery’ ‘What’s dat’, says his mate.
‘Send me lawn away to be cut’
"Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography." -Robert Byrne
Welcome to the personal website of Adrian Hodge. I'm a web designer/developer living in Rotorua, New Zealand. Married with two lovely kids, I have a love of motorcycles and gadgets. During the day I'm an Application Developer for Rotorua District Council and after hours I run Hodgeman Web & Design.
