A speaker was about to address a public meeting when he realised he’d lost his false teeth.
He told the chairman he wouldn’t be able to deliver his speech.
But a man in the front row produced a pair from his pocket and said "Why don’t you try these?".
"President Obama celebrated Earth Day by flying his enormous jet to Iowa to visit a wind-power plant." -Jimmy Kimmel
An "older" gentleman works for a Bunnings store, helping direct customers at the entrance. He’s a great success with customers and staff and everyone loves him. He has an easy way with people, but has
Finding a woman sobbing that she had locked her keys in her car, a passing soldier assures her that he can help. She looks on amazed as he removes his trousers, rolls them into a tight ball and rubs them against the car door. Magically it opens. "That’s so clever," the woman gasps. "How did you do it?" "Easy," replies the man. "These are my khakis".
Volcano jokes
I was reading one morning when my husband came in very upset and asked me if I thought he had put on a lot of weight since last winter. I asked him why he wanted to know. He groaned that he couldn’t get anywhere near fitting his jeans over his hips, much less getting them zipped up.
When I looked up from my book I exploded with laughter. He was trying to put on my jeans!
