The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"Miami was voted the worst road rage city. You have 20-year- olds doing 95, and 95-year-olds doing 20, that’s why."
-Craig Ferguson


The first time I met my wife, she was an intense aerobics instructor at my health club and I was an out-of-shape new member. After one grueling workout, I gasped, "This is really helping me get toned." She looked me up and down. Feeling self-conscious, I added, "Big men run in my family." Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A wife and her husband attended a very important business party thrown by her boss where the husband may have had one or two more than he should have.

On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and totally irresistible to all women you are?"

"Why no," said the husband, deeply flattered. Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Thought I would share this story from a class at a Secondary College.

The Science Teacher brought the school goldfish back to the science room after the holidays. He told his Year 11 Biology Class that the fish “Amnesia” and “Dementia” were quite unhappy in the small aquarium in his shed during the holidays and were glad to be back in their larger tank in the science room. One student quickly replied “They obviously prefer swimming around in schools”. Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Patricia’s sister was in hospital this week and was looking for some Christmas cheer in the sick room. She asked her hubby to track down the classic movie “Miracle on 34th Street” on DVD.

Sometime later he returned with what he thought she had asked for… “Nightmare on Elm Street”’ When challenged he said he knew it had “street” in the title… Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

A woman and her little girl were visiting the grave of the little girl’s grandmother. On their way through the cemetery back to the car, the little girl asked, "Mommy, do they ever bury two people in the same grave?"

"Of course not, dear." replied the mother, "Why would you think that?"

"The tombstone back there said, ‘Here lies a lawyer and an honest man.’" Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"Don’t worry, I can stay out late tonight," Joe told his friend Bob. "My wife’s gone for a two-week vacation in the Caribbean."

"Jamaica?" Bob asked.

"No, it was her idea."


A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other. Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies