"Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla."
—Jim Bishop
"Scientists have developed a car that can run on water. The only problem is that the water has to come from the
An excited army recruit asked his Company Commander for immediate leave as his wife was going to have a baby. Permission was granted, and when the leave pass had been issued and the soldier was leaving, the officer asked exactly when the baby was due. "About nine months after I get home sir", replied the recruit casually.
"Miami was voted the worst road rage city. You have 20-year- olds doing 95, and 95-year-olds doing 20, that’s why."
-Craig Ferguson
The first time I met my wife, she was an intense aerobics instructor at my health club and I was an out-of-shape new member. After one grueling workout, I gasped, "This is really helping me get toned." She looked me up and down. Feeling self-conscious, I added, "Big men run in my family."
A wife and her husband attended a very important business party thrown by her boss where the husband may have had one or two more than he should have.
On the way home from the party, the woman said to her husband, "Have I ever told you how handsome and sexy and totally irresistible to all women you are?"
"Why no," said the husband, deeply flattered.
Thought I would share this story from a class at a Secondary College.
The Science Teacher brought the school goldfish back to the science room after the holidays. He told his Year 11 Biology Class that the fish “Amnesia” and “Dementia” were quite unhappy in the small aquarium in his shed during the holidays and were glad to be back in their larger tank in the science room. One student quickly replied “They obviously prefer swimming around in schools”.
Welcome to the personal website of Adrian Hodge. I'm a web designer/developer living in Rotorua, New Zealand. Married with two lovely kids, I have a love of motorcycles and gadgets. During the day I'm an Application Developer for Rotorua District Council and after hours I run Hodgeman Web & Design.
