Ohope Camping Holiday 2012

In the last weekend of January before Joshua started school, we borrowed a friends ute and all his camping gear and took the family on our first ever camping trip.

Considering we hadn’t spent a single night in a tent together, Kim and I were a bit apprehensive about the whole thing, but thought since a lot of our friends with kids were camping, it seemed like the ‘in thing’ to do. Not wanting to let the Jones get one up on us we packed our friends gear and headed on our way!

We did our research on camping grounds/holiday parks and were initially shocked at the cost per night for our family. Around $70 per night (2 adults & 2 children) for a piece of unpowered land! But looking around various holiday parks in the Bay of Plenty, we quickly came to the realisation that this was a rational charge during the high season, which we unfortunately were going to be falling into.

We decided on the Ohope Beach TOP 10 Holiday Park which came highly recommended to us by friends who had spent time there recently.

The facilities were a major draw card for us; an outdoor pool with two slides and a kiddies pool, a childrens playground and even mini golf! While the mini golf course was a little tired and needing a freshen up, it was a great holiday park and we will certainly be returning there one day once we have our own camping gear.

I took plenty of photos and videos on my iPhone and put together this short holiday video using the iMovie app on my iPad so we can relive our first family camping trip for many years to come.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

My 8 year old daughter returned to school after a week off due to the earthquake. They were asked to share their stories of the morning of the earthquake. According to her classmate, also aged 8, her father ran out to rescue the dog and the cat leaving her in her bed – where she slept through a 7.1 earthquake and subsequent after-shocks. Not sure how her father will live that one down??!!

Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

This is another true First Aid course joke:

The refresher course for first aid was a bit tedious; the young instructor was clearly nervous and was trying to do everything ‘by the book’. That is until she told us about doing the “Heineken manoeuvre “ – perhaps it’s bringing the beer up to your mouth in case of emergency! My friend and I were struggling to keep a straight face and of course dutifull practised the Heimlich manoeuvre instead! Continue reading The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Testing other uses for my GoPro HD

I’ve recently been testing some other uses for the GoPro HD Hero other than filming footage from onboard my motorcycle or luging down a hill in Rotorua.

Normally when you search for GoPro on YouTube you’ll be presented with videos of Skydiving, Base jumping, Motorsports, Watersports and many other adventurous, adrenaline seeking activities. Continue reading Testing other uses for my GoPro HD

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Q. What is the difference between a pigeon and a merchant banker?
A. A pigeon can still put a deposit on a Ferrari.


One American to another: "I had trouble with a cheque I wrote last week"

Second American: "Did it bounce?"

First American: "No, the bank did"


Housework was a woman’s job, but one evening, Jenny arrived home from work to find the children bathed, One load of laundry in the washer and another in the dryer. Dinner was on the stove, and the table set. She was astonished!

It turns out that Ralph had read an article that said, ‘Wives who work full-time and had to do their own housework were too tired to have s e x.

The night went very well.

The next day, she told her office friends all about it. ‘We had a great dinner, Ralph even cleaned up the kitchen. He helped the kids do their homework, folded all the laundry and put it away. I really enjoyed the evening.

‘But what about afterwards?’ asked her friends.

Oh, that … Ralph was too tired.


An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. ‘I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a full day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.’

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60 POUNDS!

‘Why, that’s amazing!’ the doctor said, ‘Did you follow my instructions?’

The Irishman nodded…’I’ll tell you though, by jaesuz, I t’aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.’

‘From hunger, you mean?’ ‘No, from blooudy skippin’, the Irishman said.


  1. The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
  2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
  3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
  4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
  5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
  6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
  7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
  8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would resultin Linoleum Blownapart (and his probable retreat).
  9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
  10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
  11. A hole has been found in the nu dist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

One night while I was cat-sitting my daughter’s indoor feline, it escaped outside. When it failed to return the following morning, I found the beast clinging to a branch about 30 feet up in a spindly tree.

Unable to lure it down, I called the fire department.

"We don’t do that anymore," the woman dispatcher said.

When I persisted, she was polite but firm. "The cat will come down when it gets hungry enough."

How do you know that?" I asked.

"Have you ever seen a cat skeleton in a tree?" she said.

Two hours later the cat was back, looking for breakfast.


A young boy was looking through the family album and asked his mother: "Who’s this guy on the beach with you with all the muscles and curly hair?"

"That’s your father."

"Then who’s that old bald-headed fat man who lives with us now?"


GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:

  1. No matter how hard you try, you can’t baptise cats.
  2. When your Mum is mad at your Dad, don’t let her brush your hair.
  3. If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.
  4. Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
  5. You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
  6. Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
  7. You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
  8. Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:

  1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
  2. Wrinkles don’t hurt.
  3. Families are like fudge…mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
  4. Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.
  5. Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on the inside.
  6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

"Canada could have had French culture, American know-how, and English government. Instead it got French government, English know-how, and American culture." –John Colombo


"Bob Woodward claims that the Bush administration is in a state of denial. Today the Bush administration denied it." – Dave Letterman


It was a typically busy day at the bank. After a glance at the line of waiting customers, a harried-looking man came up to the side counter and demanded, "What do I have to do to change the address on my account?"

Without missing a beat, the clerk replied, "Move."


A Catholic priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane. After a while, the priest turned to the rabbi and asked, "Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?" The rabbi responded, "Yes, that is still one of our beliefs." The priest then asked, "Have you ever eaten pork?" To which the rabbi replied, "Yes, on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich."

The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading. A while later, the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest, "Is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?" The priest replied, "Yes, that is still very much a part of our faith." The rabbi then asked him, "Have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh?" The priest replied, "Yes, rabbi, on one occasion I was weak and broke with my faith."

The rabbi nodded understandingly and remained silent, thinking for about five minutes. Finally, the rabbi said, "Beats a ham sandwich, doesn’t it?"

Father of one of my kids?

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He’s rather taken aback because he can’t place where he knows her from.
So he says, ‘Do you know me?’ To which she replies, ‘I think you’re the father of one of my kids.’

Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, ‘Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery???’

She looks into his eyes and says calmly, ‘No, I’m your son’s teacher.’

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Stress Buster No. 14.

Be optimistic

This means expecting the most favourable result from your own actions.


An 85-year-old widow went on a blind date with a 90-year-old man. When she returned to her daughter’s house later that night she seemed upset.

“What happened, Mother?” the daughter asked.

“I had to slap his face three times!”

“You mean he got fresh?”

“No,” she answered, “I thought he was dead.”


“I took a course in speed reading and was able to read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It’s about Russia.” —Woody Allen


Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid Says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jelly and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

The first kid says, “A circumcision.”

The second kid replies, “Whoa, good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn’t walk for a year.”


A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Brown’s daughter.”

Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Brown.”

The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Brown’s daughter?”

She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”


A Scotsman is sitting in a bar in Cuba and is minding his business when a man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of rum. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the rum then starts walking out the door.

The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you going to pay for that?”

The man says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.”

The bartender says, “Alright then.” And the man leaves.

A few minutes later another man with a large black beard walks in. The man goes to the bar and orders a shot of rum. The bartender serves him, the man drinks the rum then starts walking out the door.

The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you going to pay for that?”

The man says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.”

The bartender says, “Alright then.” And the man leaves.

The Scotsman gets an idea and walks up to the bar and orders a shot of rum. He drinks the rum then starts walking out the door.

The bartender says, “Hey aren’t you going to pay for that?”

The Scotsman says, “Excuse me, Castro’s Army.”

The bartender says, “Hey where is your big black beard?”

The Scotsman thinks quickly. He lifts his kilt and says, “Secret Service.”


These two girlfriends are very close, allowing them to be totally honest with each other.

As one fidgeted in front of the mirror one evening before a date, she remarked, “I’m fat.”

“No, you’re not,” the other scolded.

“My hair is awful.”

“It’s lovely.”

“I’ve never looked worse,” she whined.

“Yes, you have,” her friend replied.


When the wise company president learned that his employees were tanking up on no-trace vodka martinis during their lunch hours, he issued the following memo:

To all employees; If you must drink during your lunch hour, please drink whiskey. It is better for our customers to know you’re drunk than to think you’re stupid.


A minister in a little church had been having trouble with the collections.

One Sunday he announced, “Now, before we pass the collection plate, I would like to request that the person who stole the chickens from Farmer Condill’s henhouse please refrain from giving any money to the Lord. The Lord doesn’t want money from a thief!”

The collection plate was passed around, and for the first time in months everybody gave.


THINGS MUM WOULD NEVER, EVER SAY

  • “How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back?”
  • “Yeah, I used to skip school a lot, too”
  • “Just leave all the lights on … it makes the house look more cheery”
  • “Let me smell that shirt — Yeah, it’s good for another week”
  • “Go ahead and keep that stray dog, honey. I’ll be glad to feed and walk him every day”
  • “Well, if Rahul’s mamma says it’s OK, that’s good enough for me.”
  • “The curfew is just a general time to shoot for. It’s not like I’m running a prison around here.”
  • “I don’t have a tissue with me … just use your sleeve”
  • “Don’t bother wearing a jacket – the wind-chill is bound to improve”

Jay Leno: “After the war, the plan is to divide Iraq into three parts … regular, premium, and unleaded.”


A magician calls a man up on stage, hands him a mallet and instructs the guy to hit him as hard as possible on the head.

The magician then proceeds to put his head down on a wooden block.

The man shrugs his shoulders and takes a mighty swing.

Three years later, the magician wakes up from a coma in the hospital and goes…. “Taa-Daa!”


Vincent Van Gogh was standing at the corner of the bar in his local pub when his mate Rembrandt walked in.

“Fancy a whiskey, Van Gogh?” called out Rembrandt.

“No, its okay”, said Van Gogh, “I’ve got one ear.”


A father asked his 12-year-old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

“I don’t want to know!” the child said, bursting into tears. “Promise me you won’t tell me!”

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, “When I was six, I got the ‘There’s no Santa’ speech. At seven, I got the ‘There’s no Easter Bunny’ speech. When I was eight, You hit me with the ‘There’s no tooth fairy speech.'”

“If you’re going to tell me that grown-ups don’t really get laid, I’ll have nothing left to live for.”


Pity the man who isn’t aware of these vital elements of female communication.
When a woman is addressing her partner, the following definitions apply:-

  • She says FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and he needs to shut up.
  • She says FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if he has just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
  • She says NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means “something,” and he should be on his toes. Arguments that begin with ‘Nothing’ usually end in “Fine”.
  • She says GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t do it.
  • She gives a LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A “Loud Sigh” means she thinks he is an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with him over “Nothing”.
  • She says THAT’S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. “That’s Okay” means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when he will pay for his mistake.
  • She says THANKS: A woman is thanking him. Do not question it or faint. Just say “you’re welcome”.