GSX-R1000 Crash, worst finish to best MotoTT trackday ever!

Today I attended a MotoTT motorcycle trackday in Taupo. It was a special trackday as they were drawing the grand prize winner of the 2012 Suzuki SV650S (valued at $13,500). To have an entry in the draw you needed to have attended two trackdays since August 2011.

At lunchtime they pulled my name out of a bag of over 200 entries, “it was easily the best, most valuable thing I had ever won in my life, I was on cloud 9 and it happily came on the second anniversary of my first ever trackday back in May, 2010″. Continue reading GSX-R1000 Crash, worst finish to best MotoTT trackday ever!

Suzuki Trackday – Taupo, November 13, 2010

I got an email from MotoTT promoting a Suzuki Trackday at Taupo on Track 1 for only $80. I was planning on doing my second ever trackday the following Friday, November 19th, but this was going to be much better for three simple reasons.

  • On a Saturday, so no need to take a day off work
  • Sponsored by Suzuki, so only $80 instead of $125
  • Three riding groups instead of four, so more track time!

Continue reading Suzuki Trackday – Taupo, November 13, 2010

My first MotoTT trackday in Taupo

Well, after much anticipation the day finally arrived. My first MotoTT trackday in Taupo!

Left Rotorua around 7am to get to the Taupo Motorsports Park just before 8am.
Being pretty eager to register and get the bike scrutineered. Continue reading My first MotoTT trackday in Taupo

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Eric is sitting at the bar staring morosely into his beer. Tom walks in and sits down. After trying to start a conversation several times and getting only distracted grunts he asks Eric what the problem is.

"Well," said Eric, "I ran afoul of one of those women’s questions women ask. Now I’m in deep trouble at home."

"What kind of question?, asked Tom.

"My wife asked me if I would still love her if when she was old, fat and ugly."

"That’s easy," said Tom. "You just say ‘Of course I will’".

"Yeah", said Eric, "That’s what I did, except I said, ‘Of course I DO….’"

A little girl’s Christmas wish:

"Dear God, this year please send clothes for all those poor ladies in Daddy’s computer,


A couple of days ago my wife and I, our oldest daughter and her nine year old were driving back home from our youngest daughter’s wedding. It had been a great day and we were discussing the event.

Our youngest is a very short and petite lady who has trouble (!) finding clothes small and slim enough for her. But she managed to get a suitable and beautiful wedding dress without having one specially made.

Conversation in the car went as follows Older Daughter – didn’t she look lovely in her dress? My wife – yes, and it cost less than $1000 too Nine year Old grand son – A thousand dollars!!!!! and she will only wear it once !!!! Me – Well he’s growing up to be a proper bloke!

Not sure that my response was really appreciated by the ladies.

The quotes from youngsters in church, reminds me that for years I thought in the Lord’s Prayer that the line "forgive us all evil." was "forgive us all eagle." I just couldn’t understand 1.) Why it was all eagle and not all eagles and 2.) Why the God should forgive us for eagles!

Well, at least I knew something about grammar!

Arguing with your Boss is like wrestling with a pig in mud. After a while you realize that while you are getting dirty, the pig is actually enjoying it.

Martha recently lost her husband. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home. Picking up the urn that he was in, she poured him out on the patio table. Then, while tracing her fingers in the ashes, she started talking to him…. You know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!" She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said, "Remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!"

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, "Remember that diamond ring you promised me? Bought it too, with the insurance money!"

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, "Remember that blow job I promised you?" "Here it comes."

An American tourist asks an Irish fisherman: "Why do Scuba Divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?"

To which the Irishman replies: "If dey fell forwards they’d still be in the fookin’ boat."

In the fun world of the administration of NZ Justice, not all the laughs are in the court-room. Indeed, giggles and guffaws can erupt at almost any time or place.

For example: On a bitterly cold winter’s day several weeks ago on the Desert Road at high altitude, a N Z Police Constable on patrol came across a motorcyclist, swathed in protective clothing and helmet, stalled by the roadside.

"What’s the matter?" asked the constable. "Carburetor’s frozen," was the terse reply. "Pee on it. That’ll thaw it out." "Can’t." "OK, watch me and I will show you." The constable lubricated the carburetor, as promised. The bike started and the rider drove off, waving.

A few days later, the Waiouru constabulary office received a note of thanks from the father of the motorbike rider. It began: "On behalf of my daughter, who recently was stranded …."

Q. What do you get when you mix PMS with a GPS
A. A crazy bitch that can find you.

An American sailor on liberty visits one of those Japanese bath houses and pays for the deluxe treatment. So three bath maids start working him over.

First they dunk him in the hot water and lather him up good, then dunk him in the cold water and back in the hot water. They cleaned out his toenails and scrubbed his knees, elbows and behind his ears. Then again in the cold then hot tubs.

He was feeling totally cleaned and refreshed when one maid asks, "Ah sooo, you want the wax job?"

The sailor says, "Well I want everything I’m supposed to get since I paid for the deluxe."

So the maid takes his peter and lays it out on a marble bench. She then raises her right hand and with a ‘Hi Yahhh’ she karate chops his peter causing wax to shoot out both of his ears.

Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.

The first Catholic man tells his friends, "My son is a priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’."

The second Catholic man chirps, "My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’."

The third Catholic gent says, "My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’."

The fourth Catholic man then says, "My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’."

Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, "Well….?"

She proudly replies:

"I have a daughter, slim, tall, 38D breasts, 24" waist, and 34" hips. When she walks into a room, people say, "Oh My God".

Sam and Abe, now in their eighties, first met in grade school. Their relationship now is playing cards, playing jokes and making bets.

One day Sam calls Abe and says, "I bet you that mine is longer soft than yours is hard. A thousand dollars…"

Abe replies, "How can that be? If you know anything about biology you…."

Sam interrupts, "I called for a bet, not a lecture. Mine YES OR NO?"

Abe says, "OK, OK. I’ll take that bet. How long is yours soft?"

Sam answers, "Eleven years!"

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them." -Unknown

"Politicians are interested in people. Not that this is always a virtue. Fleas are interested in dogs." –P. J.

At a wedding I recently attended, the priest called for a moment of silence to remember the faithful dead…

As the church grew quiet, a little boy sitting in front of me turned to his father and said excitedly, "Dad, you have some of their albums!"

Never argue with an idiot; because people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

True story

My seven year old grandson was telling me he was tha fastest runner in school , the best football kicker, the best at playing tiggy etc at a number of activities in the school. I said ‘ i would like to hear you are the best reader in school or the best at maths"’ He looked very plaintive and said ‘there are thousands of kids at my school!!!

A young man confided to his mother that he proposed taking himself a bride.

"Whatsa dees?" screamed Mother. "Who’s a gonna love you like a Momma? Who’s a gonna starch-a you socks? Who’s a gonna make-a you lasagna?"

"Please, Mom, calm down," pleaded the son. "Any why are you talking like that? We aren’t even Italian."

"I married a younger man. Ten years younger than I am. I figure it like this: If you can’t find a good man, raise one." –Unknown

An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999.

Irishman: ”It’s my fooken wife! I’ve accidentally shot her, I’ve fooken killed her!”

Operator: ”Please calm down Sir. Can you first make sure she is actually dead!”

*click* … *BANG*

Irishman: ”Okay, I’ve fooken done that. What next?”

If you have ever testified in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial.
The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer’s credibility.

Q: ‘Officer, did you see my client fleeing the scene?’
A: ‘No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.’
Q: ‘Officer, who provided this description?’
A: ‘The officer who responded to the scene.’
Q: ‘A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?’
A: ‘Yes, sir. With my life.’
Q: ‘With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?’
A: ‘Yes sir, we do!’
Q: ‘And do you have a locker in the room?’
A: ‘Yes sir, I do.’
Q: ‘And do you have a lock on your locker?’
A: ‘Yes sir.’
Q: ‘Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share withthe same officers?’
A: ‘You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.’

A woman picked up a few items in the supermarket, then headed for the express line. The clerk had his back turned to her, so she said, "Excuse me young man, I’m in a hurry.
Could you check me out, please?"

The clerk turned around, looked her up and down and said, "Nice tits lady."

As I serviced an alarm system at a jewelry store recently, the saleswoman let me know that the store was having a 20 percent off sale.

"I bet your girlfriend would love it if you bought her something." she suggested.

"I don’t have a girlfriend," I answered.

"No girlfriend? Why not?"

"My wife won’t let me."

Dear Abby,

I’ve never written to you before, but I really need advice.
I’ve suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me. The usual signs… phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My wife has been going out with the girls a lot recently, and when I ask their names she always says, "Just some friends from work, you don’t know them."

I stay awake to look out for her taxi coming home, but she always walks down the drive. Although I can hear a car driving off, it seems she has gotten out of a car round the corner. Maybe she wasn’t in a taxi?

Deep down I probably don’t want to know the truth, but last night when she went out I decided to really check on her. I parked my Harley next to the garage and then hid behind it so I could get a good view of the whole street when she came home. It was at that moment, crouching behind my Harley, that I noticed that the valve covers on the engine were leaking a little oil.

Is this something I can fix myself or should I take it back to the dealer?

If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she’d become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.

2007 Suzuki GSX-R1000 K7

Made a special trip away from the office today, I hoped on an Intercity bus in Rotorua at 8:30am and headed to Auckland. I did this to pick up a Suzuki GSX-R1000 K7 (2007) motorcycle from Haldane’s motorcycles in Penrose, Auckland.

My first impressions were damn!, this thing looks mean as and sounds ever better!

My first ride was 100m down the road to fill up the 17 litre tank for the trip back to Rotorua. The noise this thing makes is incredible, it’s hard to believe this thing is legal.

After a quick top up it was back onto the road making sure to put my earplugs in first so as to reduce the damage to my ear canals!

The ride back to Rotorua was great, the weather was fantastic, the traffic was minimal but there where heaps of police around. Mind you I wasn’t going to be stupid on my brand new bike that has 162bhp at the rear wheel. I’ve been told by the guys at AMPS who dyno’d it last September that it creates 77ft lbs of torque.

I’m glad I had my ear plugs in as this is makes quite a noise. The exhaust is a Taylormade and is obviously very unrestrictive as it doesn’t take any prisoners.

Rotorua lakeside




The Taylormade underbelly exhaust


UPDATE: One of my photos I loaded to was featured as the ‘Photo of the Day’ for September 11, 2009. homepage 11-09-09

Visit to see all the photos I’ve loaded of all the bikes I’ve owned.