Paddy was waiting at the bus stop with his mate when a truck went by loaded up with rolls of turf. Paddy said, ‘I’m gonna do that when I win lottery’ ‘What’s dat’, says his mate.
‘Send me lawn away to be cut’
"Anybody who believes that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach flunked geography." -Robert Byrne
There is a medical distinction between Guts and Balls.
We’ve all heard about people having Guts or Balls. But do you really know the difference between them?
In an effort to keep you informed, here are the definitions:
GUTS – Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the Guts to ask: ‘Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?’
"According to the National Institute of Health, as people age, their brains respond less strongly to rewards. They say older people become less excited when they win some- thing. Whoever did this study has never seen a bingo game." -Jay Leno
I believe my little daughter wants a pair of glasses. I don’t know why she does. Perhaps glasses are now "cool" to have in school? But though she sees just fine, she still says she needs glasses.
Mick walks into Paddy’s barn and catches him doing a sexy striptease to a large piece of red machinery.
Mick says "What the hell are you doing Paddy?"
Paddy replies "Well me and Mary haven’t been getting on lately and the therapist recommended that I do something sexy to a tractor."
Every night, Harry goes out drinking. And every night, his wife, Louise, yells at him. One day, one of Louise’s friends suggests that she try a different tack. "Welcome him home with a kiss and some loving words," she says. "He might change his ways."
That night, Harry stumbles back home as usual. But instead of berating him, Louise helps him into an easy chair, puts his feet up on the ottoman, removes his shoes, and gently massages his neck.
"It’s late," she whispers. "I think we should go upstairs to bed now, don’t you?"
Welcome to the personal website of Adrian Hodge. I'm a web designer/developer living in Rotorua, New Zealand. Married with two lovely kids, I have a love of motorcycles and gadgets. I work for Destination Rotorua Tourism Marketing during the day and run Hodgeman Web & Design after hours.
