The Fabulous Friday Funnie

True story

I was teaching my class a Christmas song when all their eyes suddenly looked under the table behind me. I couldn’t believe I was looking at two identical lizards about 30cm ( 1 foot) long. One appeared to be doing push-ups and the other was walking in circles.
"Look, they’re dancing to the music!" one boy yelled. Everyone laughed.

I chased the lizards out carefully with a book and attempted to continue my lesson but noticed that one little boy seemed really upset.
"Now they have to find somewhere else to finish their date," he wailed.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

On the last day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box.

The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

"Miami was voted the worst road rage city. You have 20-year- olds doing 95, and 95-year-olds doing 20, that’s why."
-Craig Ferguson

The first time I met my wife, she was an intense aerobics instructor at my health club and I was an out-of-shape new member. After one grueling workout, I gasped, "This is really helping me get toned." She looked me up and down. Feeling self-conscious, I added, "Big men run in my family."

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, ‘And you are no good in bed either,’ and storms out of the house.

After some time he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Thought I would share this story from a class at a Secondary College.

The Science Teacher brought the school goldfish back to the science room after the holidays. He told his Year 11 Biology Class that the fish “Amnesia” and “Dementia” were quite unhappy in the small aquarium in his shed during the holidays and were glad to be back in their larger tank in the science room. One student quickly replied “They obviously prefer swimming around in schools”.