The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Wife asks husband, "How many women have you slept with?"
Husband proudly replies,

"Only you, Darling – With all the others, I was awake."

"According to the ‘Wall Street Journal’, researchers at Harvard have found an enzyme in the brain that regulates obesity. They said if it wasn’t for our brains, we would all be thin. That’s why supermodels are so skinny." –Jay Leno

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

My 8 year old daughter returned to school after a week off due to the earthquake. They were asked to share their stories of the morning of the earthquake. According to her classmate, also aged 8, her father ran out to rescue the dog and the cat leaving her in her bed – where she slept through a 7.1 earthquake and subsequent after-shocks. Not sure how her father will live that one down??!!

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

”Working in customer service at Vision Australia, I received a call from a lady who said she had been diagnosed with something that sounded like ‘immaculate conception’,”
writes Jane, of Enfield. ”After some discussion, we agreed that it was probably macular degeneration, a leading cause of vision loss for people aged over 75. After further discussion about the services we could provide, she agreed to call me back after she talked to her ‘optimist’.

Then there are the calls about the blind dogs … ”

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

Volcano jokes

• Sorry for the flight delays, Europe. We were aiming for London, but it’s hard to be accurate when firing a volcano
• There’s no pleasing the English. The last time they got the Ashes they were over the moon
• Iceland goes bankrupt, then manage to set their island on fire. Insurance scam written all over it
• I think it’s too soon to make jokes about the Icelandic volcano…we should at least wait until the dust settles
• Time for the USA to attack Iceland for possessing weapons of mass disruption
• The last wish of the Icelandic economy was to have its ashes scattered over Europe

The Fabulous Friday Funnies

I was reading one morning when my husband came in very upset and asked me if I thought he had put on a lot of weight since last winter. I asked him why he wanted to know. He groaned that he couldn’t get anywhere near fitting his jeans over his hips, much less getting them zipped up.
When I looked up from my book I exploded with laughter. He was trying to put on my jeans!